New Marvel Superhero Summer Blockbuster Film Treatment

Contin. from prev. post - see how it all flows together like a delightful flurry of slurry?
The last word from last th' post was... irony.

Don't you think it would a much more powerful and interesting film if Stan Lee and the folks at Marvel simply added a 'y' onto the tittle of the new summer blockbuster they have comin' out this Summer?

See where I'm goin'? Yeah. Irony Man!

Instead of the Rocketeer part 2, with a dude that flies around in an iron suit, we get... Irony Man! A slight, earnest-looking pasty white man with a hemp tank top, berks, and horn rims whose only super power is the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning (thanks Merriam Webster) in a way that is so profound as to render the villian weak and confused for a few beats, pondering the very existential nature of his reality.

That's when Irony Man will go ahead and kick the bad guy in the balls.

This is powerful stuff.

Possible arch-enemies of Irony Man:
Melancholy Baby
Mercurial Girl
Captain Refractory
Doubting Thomas
Jungian Arc
Psycho Analy Sis
The Gunt

Irony Man's Teen-age sidekick and Traveling Companion:

Figurative Boy

NKOTB! WTF! WGAF! RAOFV!

They're back, biyatches! Thanks, Sky-Daddy.
Is it possible for a musical group to announce that they are getting back together but not recording any new music OR touring? Ever?
Just getting back together.
Maybe to take a few photos.
Play some Gin Rummy. Drink a few beers.
I like that.
When it comes to NKOTB, that is.

Has Donnies acting career faded that far? I would think commercial voice-overs for Massengill would be a step up from getting back with the New Kids.
What, Donni, no offers from the Mexican soap operas? Guatemalan stump-porn industry? Bolivian snuff-films? No? Hmm.
Well, alright then - I guess the Donnies gotta do what the Donnies gotta do.

The funny thing is, I hear the hold-out to this much anticipated reunion is... Danny. Danny? Are you kidding? Wasn't he like, sloppy fifths? Imagine the 15 year old groupie in 1990 faced with the decision of whether to hum Danny or the 300-lb. bus driver with the club foot? That'd be a head scratcher. So to speak.

Get in your De Lorean and travel back to 1978. Say John and Paul wanted to get the Beatles back together for a big reunion tour - wouldn't that be like Ringo saying, "Uhh, I'm kinda busy right now - I've got this Bolivian snuff-film I'm starring in. Sorry, fellahs." WTF? Irony.

Garish out

Garee's Garish Muvee Review:We've Gone From Titillation To A Tittle Nation

That's powerful stuff.

Juno

O.K., before I went to this flick I thot tit 'twas titled 'Jew... No!'
Hee hee..
Actually, I stole that from that one talk-box what the funny word-noises come out. Me no Anti-Semite. How many times have you heard Cookie Monster have to say that? Yeah. Makes you think.

Anyway, I gots to tells ya, that Ellen Page is some kinda cute little button. She's 20 years of age in real life. Wow! That means when she is 47 she will look all of 43. Dat's sumpin.

This movie is quirky. Very quirky. I mean it's Q to the U-I-R-K to the double fucking Y. It takes a 400 lb. halibut of Smirk Quirk and hits you over the head with it every minute and a half or so. If the Cloverfield monster was Cutsey Quirk this movie would be N.Y.C.

The relentless soundtrack with the helium-voiced girl singing insistantly over the noodled acoustic guitar was enough. To make me want to shove X-acto knives into my eardrums after the first song and a half. I loved it.

After 90 mins. of this 90's-ish wacky-syrup pancake confection, my kidneys noisily shut down and I gratefully slipped in to a diabetic coma.
Wheeeee.

EOM